Waiting

I enter the room in disdain
The time has come once again
when i got to slog through night after night day after day
with my eyes burning and my body in pain...

The first three battles are over
Battles not won, but lost....maybe...I dont know...
They were battles for survival...
And alive still I am..Breathing..
Hoping for a miracle to happen...anxious..

But also there is a strange calmness..
As some part of me waits...waits..
waits for the confirmation of defeat..